May 30, 2007

Dreams - My other reality

It felt like it was final. I was back together with Desmond. Back together, in a contemplating for marriage way. But, I didn't seem very happy (what's new?).

We went back to his house. He needed to change into a new set of clothes. I didn't go into his house. He told me to just wait outside for him. It would take only a while. So, I loitered along the corridor. And then, found myself near a bus stop. I was walking aimlessly. Then, I realised Wenn was at the bus stop. I walked up to her.

At that time, I could hear a commotion somewhere near the bus stop. Wenn and I hurriedly went to see what it was all about. We came to a row of old shophouses. An old lady was hanging by the window sill of one of the shophouses. Wenn and I immediately went to help. We went up the shophouse and managed to pull the old lady in.

Then, we took a little tour of the shophouse. It felt like the kind of shophouse meant for coolies, in the early days of Singapore. It was very crowded but very colourful. With a lot of leaflets, calender, posters and whatnot pasted on the walls. Wenn and I were still looking around when we heard a second commotion.

We went to the window sill again. And hanging by the sill this time was Desmond. Wenn kept getting me to go over and help her in pulling him in. Strangely, I was reluctant. I think I was avoiding him. For unknown reasons.

Until, not so long after, he couldn't hold on anymore and he fell. I ran to the window and saw that he had landed on the ground below. I ran down to the ground level and saw that he was hurt. I held him up, cradled his head in my chest and waited for the paramedics to come.

The next thing I know, I was telling him how the very moment he fell, I was senseless for a moment because I realized I didn't love him anymore, not in the way that I did. Hence, I definitely couldn't marry him. I didn't feel for him anything more than a mere person, not even a friend. We couldn't possibly be together again. He took all these in and accepted everything I said calmly.

Then, I found myself and Ade on a pavement. We were heading for a destination that I can't remember. Ade was helping me through some physiotherapy. It appeared that my legs were hurt and I couldn't use them. I was walking with my arms and hands.

I woke up.

This is possibly the 3rd time I dreamt that something happened to my legs and I was immobile.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:07